Can I have a bite?

Eating. Drinking. Sometimes at home, sometimes on the town.

Monday, November 06, 2006

A different kind of hunger

I don't feel much like writing about food today. But this is the place I picked for NaBloPoMo, so here goes. I'm hungry to put an end to the head games that keep me up at night, worried about little details at work or whether I might be less than perfect. There's a super-sized anxiety chip in my head and it's been over-activated for at least the last two months, if not more. I don't think I was like this until I hit 20.

Unfortunately, no amount of comfort—whether in the form of kind words or mac n' cheese—can talk me out of this dark corner, at least until the next morning. And even then, I sometimes just feel like I'm faking a smile for the cameras.

I guess the best thing to do is just take a deep breath and try to get some sleep, but it just feels artificial in the face of all the annoying worrying that has me so pissed off at my own chemical make up that I can't even pretend to chill out.

P.S. Nobody call the psych ward or anything, as scary as this reads, it's just part of the roller-coaster ride I'm on. Thankfully, I do have some great support in my life to turn to if things really do get rough.

Mmmmm, mac n' cheese.....


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